Summer vacation means plenty of sunshine and endless beauty sleep right? Sure, but not if you’re about to embark on your final year of college unsure and slightly scared. Actually, make that really scared. These days, while I’ve been having a blast going to work and out here and there, different stress factors have been creeping up on me.
1. Graduate School
This is probably the biggest worry of mine with my undergraduate life approaching an end. I’ve always wanted more than just a Bachelor’s degree and am leaning towards applying for graduate school, but sometimes, I worry that it won’t be worth going through due to the nature of the field I want to work in. I’m also torn between getting a masters in marketing and getting one in communications, specifically public relations and corporate communications. There are some similarities between the two, but they are also very different…so maybe I’ll apply for marketing at one school and public relations/corporate communications at another? Not to mention that to apply, I need to maintain my GPA this upcoming fall and get my sh*t together for the GRE – Decisions, decisions, decisions! 😩
There’s no doubt in the world that I’m my biggest critic, and that comes with its fair share of pros and cons. The downside is that as a result, I’ve always struggled with self-esteem issues. At the moment, I find myself feeling a little less confident than usual. For example, I’ve been feeling so much heavier than I should even though I’m, in actuality, nowhere near overweight or chubby. I’m realizing that my recent physical insecurities probably stem from other insecurities of mine. I’ll often get anxious just thinking of various questions such as:
- Am I going to be able to reach my long-term goals or find success?
- Will all of my efforts pay off or be enough in the end?
- Why do I sense that I’m still all over the place?
- Did certain relationships/friendships fail because it wasn’t meant to be or because there’s something wrong with me?
- Why can’t I be as smart/talented/etc. as so and so?
- Do I even deserved to be actually loved by those around me?
…and the list goes on. All I know is that I need to be better at maintaining both my physical and mental wellbeing. After all, loving yourself should always be a priority.
3. Musical Abilities
Everyone around me knows that music, particularly singing has always been my passion. For a while now, I’ve been feeling as though it’s been physically harder to sing and am unsatisfied with my voice. Maybe it’s all in my head, but I’m scared I may be losing some of the quality that I am used to having. As for the piano, the older I get, the more difficult it is to find time to practice, which sucks because I absolutely adore playing it and don’t want to lose any of the technique acquired over the past 10+ years. Bottom line is that I don’t want to lose touch with the few things that I genuinely pride myself in.
Anyway, this post may feel somewhat like a downer, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. Also, writing things down just helps me cope with whatever I may be dealing with. I guess the important thing is to remember that most things come in waves – you just have to gather your energy and jump high above them.
Do you have any worries of your own? Let me know, and I promise – the next post won’t be as gloomy! 😅
Bisous à tous! ♡